Safe in our beds with Pauline?

Shadow security minister Baroness Pauline Neville Jones was on the Today Programme this morning. She was with the chairman of the Royal United Services Institute, Sir Paul Lever. I got the impression that Pauline was a tad muddled up. She got all muddled over the idea that Islamic terrorists are "home grown". It seem to her like an awkward question. Her claim to be in Afghanistan is apparently based on terrorist training camps. But Gordon Brown is claiming it is about democracy as much as training up the Afghan police. Nobody in political circles has clarity.

Personally I'd feel a lot safer with Sir Paul Lever in charge, but then he's not where Pauline is. Pity!

School racist hunters go OTT in barmy episode

You have to hand it to the politically correct. In bucketloads! They are so keen to root out what they consider racist behaviour that they associate harmless remarks with the vilist Nazi propaganda. Teachers have signed up to a morons charter, designed by this ludicrous government, to jot down every word, phrase or remark with a scintilla of assumed racist content.

So it was that a six-year-old girl has been branded a racist for telling a black girl she had chocolate on her face. Innocence turned into a gestapo-style report. When the girl's mother went to collect her she was told the incident was "racist" and that a complaint had been logged.

The school claims it was blown out of all proportion. I hardly think so. Not if it was put in the book! These people are supposed to be running a Church school. They'd be far better off binning this ridiculous book and just taking children's remarks as they come.

All that the school has done is unnecessarily causing the girl to feel guilty about an innocent remark just because they put their political correctness in front of common sense. They do themselves no merit and they are a cancer in society that needs eradicating.

Gordon Brown's Afghan egg displeases curate's congregation

The curate's egg was good in parts. He was implying that something which is partly good can be ruined by the bad bit.

Right Reverend Host. "I’m afraid you’ve got a bad Egg, Mr. Jones!"
The Curate. "Oh no, my Lord, I assure you! Parts of it are excellect!"

We could say the same about Gordon Brown's speech this morning. He is still trying to persuade us that his nemesis, Alky Ada, is about to strike out in London on a savage rampage all due to the problems starting in Kabul. Cut off the Afghan terrorists and Britain is a safer place. It's all poppycock. He ruins a basically good premise by including untruths and speculation. Al Queda are in Pakistan giving grief to that benighted country. If they ever were in Afghanistan they have long since fled. Terrorists are not insurgents. Fine point, maybe, but the aims are different. It is the Taliban, a group of warlords and displaced poppy farmers, that are the anti-social scourge of the Afghans. We don't wish to seize the moment in Pakistan to go after Al Queda. Probably because we would get an uprising in Britain as well as in Pakistan.

So the Afghan war is about telling us we are fighting terrorism to make Britain a safer place. The Taliban are enemies of the democratising process of Afghan society. We are telling Karzai about corruption. Gordon Brown lectures him on good governance, suggesting that a government must not stand back and let corruption take place. Excuse me! What has Brown beeen doing in Westminster? Trying to hide MPs expenses, his own cleaning bills and Sky Sports subscriptions, by invoking parliamentary privilege, stifling freedom of information and redacting documents. Nice one.

The country is not behind this war because the premise is false. We are behind our soldiers and each and every one of them has put themselves where virtually none of us would go. But the government needs to do far better than come up with this travesty of the truth.

There are four countries in the world that the "West" has difficulty with. Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran and Pakistan. Not one is a fully functioning democracy. All have despots waiting to take over. All have simmering grievances. The peoples of each country want peace and prosperity. They don't care if it is with democracy or with a benign overlord. They just want peace. In that, Gordon Brown is right to say that the first duty of a government is the security of the nation. But he negates his good reasons by including fancifully bad ones.

Until the truth is out, this war will go nowhere. Until our objectives are crystal clear, we have only the curate's opinion to guide us.

Democracy? Did we ever have it?

I'm of the opinion that democracy doesn't really exist in the so-called "western countries". Free speech is a far greater asset and one which the authorities allow and support. But they are woefully scared of true democracy. Witness the antics of the EU hierachy, all hellbent on getting YES votes in referendums, the very polls they fought hard deny most voters in the 27 countries. Witness also the ridiculous way in which a candidate in the USA has to get vast numbers of voters to support his/her candidature just to get ballot access. All manner of hoops and hurdles are placed in the way of parties which dissent from the agreed two-party arrangement.

I think it was summed up for me when something remarkable happened in East Devon in 1989. Stuart Hughes, now a Conservative councillor, although a maverick one, was a candidate for his Raving Loony Green Giant Party. Having fallen out with David Sutch of the OMLRP, he ploughed his own furrow. He stood against a matriarchal Conservative and beat her. She waspishly queried the result, saying "What have they done?" and then rounded on Mr.Hughes by stating he better not lark around in the council chamber. She took defeat very badly. Many have done so in the past and no doubt will in the future.

Democracy is not that welcome in the corridors of power. Free speech doesn't bother them. I'm entitled, allowed, or whatever, to sound off on this blog. That's not going to twitch an eyebrow. But if I mobilised an army of voters to unseat MPs, then I would be in trouble. It's a form of poking my nose in where I'm not welcome.

Daniel Hannan has a good line in his blog entry yesterday. He says -

"It’s not chiefly about Europe – it’s about democracy. Regular readers will know that I have always seen the repatriation of jurisdiction from Brussels as a means to an end. Having got the powers back, we should pass them down to local authorities or, better yet, to individual citizens. I want decisions to be decentralised, diffused, democratised. I want open primaries, popular initiative procedures, elected sheriffs, self-financing councils, an end to quangos, recall mechanisms and, yes, referendums – lots and lots of referendums."

An end to quangos? I seem to remember a lot of us campaigned hard for that when Margaret Thatcher came to office. Democracy is yet to be accomplished in full, but it will be achieved because of the free speech of people like Daniel Hannan.

Bouncing Czech puts Cameron's current account in the red!

So the Czech's have signed, ratified and sealed the Lisbon Treaty. Democracy is the poorer, weasel wordsmiths are having a field day. David Cameron and the higher echelons of the Conservative Party are u-turning as I type. All manner of reasons as to why a referendum is now out of the question. Cast iron guarantees are being melting down tonight. EU alchemy is trying to make gold ingots out of this cast iron. Well, let them! They know no better.

My fear is that come the general election the two largest parties in Britain will be defending political records of scheming, subterfuge, u-turning, deception, and a wilful acceptance of the greed of mates and pals and the dismissal of those MPs of lesser worth and political value.

David Cameron's current account has suddenly gone into the red. UKIP must be sensing a real victory in that those who thought Cameron would deliver now find a man whose word is as worthless as the fictitious money transactions that the conniving banks were doing when they turned toxic sub-prime loans into the grandchild of the South Sea Bubble. Many Conservative supporters will drift away, others will run enthusiastically into the UKIP fold.

Politics needs a new start. No good lecturing the likes of Afghanistan's President Kazi, when the EU variety has far more corrosive arrangements for denying true democracy.

I sincerely hope David Cameron knows what has befallen him. Gordon Brown barged into Tony Blair's No 10 bunker to declare that he didn't believe a ****ing the then PM said. The people may well say the same next year about Cameron's referendum guarantee melting like a chocolate soldier in the desert.

Harry Potter puts in for EU Presidency

Harry Potter as the new President of Europe? Well not exactly. It's not the fantastical character of cinematic and book fame but the lookalike Dutch prime minister. Jan Peter Balkenende is a man who knows about deals in smoke-filled rooms (actually smoke-free now due to the smoking ban). Each Dutch election is followed by a Jan'll Fixit arrangement. Seems the EU chief bottlewashers are dead against Tony Blair knocking on the door. At least they have some sense in that direction. So they've given Jan Peter the nod and the wink.

According to this Dutch website, the majority of the Dutch people want Balkenende to go to Brussels if he gets the chance so they are rid of him. That's the most-heard opinion apparently. Various polls indicate a majority of the electorate also want general elections if 'their' premier is picked.

Now that kind of rings a few bells. I hear the sound of Tony Blair's name being mentioned in likeminded tones. One has to wonder what it is about the political infections our national leaders pick up in Brussels. Old Biffo Cowan was implicated in undemocratic stuff in Ireland. Sarkozy is up to his tricks again, in cohoots with Frau Merkel (Tippytoes and the Hausfrau - what a combination!), trying to stitch up a deal over this EU Presidency thing. And Baldenende dismissed the Dutch NEI! as a temporary blip.

None of them is remotely democratic when it comes to keeping the EU Gravy train on its tracks. Chief among the democratic dissemblers are Blair and Brown. Both are cheats when it comes to giving the people a say. So it comes as no surprise that the Dutch want to give Harry Potter a good kicking. A pair of the finest clogs will do. To unclog the democratic deficit!

Wal-Mart starts selling coffins

Wal-Mart doesn't miss a trick. They've reckoned that, as everybody eventually dies, selling coffins is not a bad idea. Even if they got a tiny fraction of the deceased people's purchasing power, that would produce a tidy sum.

I've had a look at these coffins. Actually, they're not coffins but the far more grandiose caskets that Americans have come to cherish. These are the satin-lined plush interiored things that open halfway so you can get a peek of the dead relative or friend as you pay your last respects. These weighty things make for better profits but they are hellish for pallbearers. If fact in most cases they give up trying to lift them. No, these things are usually wheeled in on a folding trolley, many times looking as if trolley and casket are going to come to grief in some way.

I favour coffins over caskets. But Wal-Mart won't be selling coffins. Far too deathlike for their liking. The casket seems to be a more sanitised way of coping with death. I was told once of a good Anglo-Catholic church in America that wanted a funeral with pallbearers carrying the coffin shoulder high into the church. The priest was being fobbed off with a fancy casket. He wanted this parishioner to have a nice oak coffin. Nothing doing. So he went on the internet and found a Jewish coffin maker in California, many miles away, who had just the right thing. With a bit of redecoration the wooden coffin did the job and he was able to escort the deceased into church, shoulder high with pallbearers in attendance.

Wal-Mart may well sell quite a few. On the other hand, if you don't buy your casket from a fancy funeral director, are you expected to arrange your own Wal-Mart funeral? Maybe, but don't be late for it!

Different planets and parallel universes

The BBC reports that a man of 112 has "married" a girl of 17 in Somalia. In itself it must send shock waves throught the western world. However, all is not as it may seem, I think.

The old codger might be up to some tricks. So might the girl and her family. He says, "I didn't force her, but used my experience to convince her of my love; and then we agreed to marry". At his age he needs to be careful over affairs of the heart. He could just conk out any minute if he overexerted himself.

My guess is that he has a bit put away on the money front. He'll have a Cecil Colby moment, fade away gracefully, and she becomes queen bee of the village. Probably works out fine for all concerned.

In the scheme of things, Somalia is definitely a law unto itself!

Has Tony McNulty any honour?

It seems that MPs are split into two camps. Those that do an honourable job in an honourable way and are seemingly honourable people. Then there are the fiddlers, the backsliders and the muckrakers. Was it any different? Thankfully the honourable members are in the significant majority.

Tony McNulty has been huffing and puffing that he "played by the rules" but when it comes to the Fees Office and the House of Commons, for some this was no better organised than the tuck shop at Greyfriars School. "Crickey! It's old Quelch. Better hide these receipts jolly fast!" McNulty was investigated by the Parliamentary standards watchdog for claiming the second home allowance for a property in which his parents lived. This house was only nine miles from his own home! Any honourable person would have thought, wouldn't they, that a quick train or tube ride would have worked most evenings. But not Tony, oh no. He decided to pocket the maximum he could get his hands on.

It's because of his apparent greed that he has been given the parliamentary equivalent of six of the best. Plus the humiliation (well, maybe not in his case!) of handing back £13,837. And he has, along with others, given Parliament a bad name and allowed the public to think that every MP is just like him. No wonder Suzy Gale is upset by it all. She works hard for her husband and his constituents. But fellow MP Derek Conway abused the system. So his abuse is an assumed systemic cancer that every MP's spouse is capable of contracting, including Suzy? It's nonsense, of course. But it is the sad times we live in.

Common sense has left the minds of most people currently. Nobody takes responsibility. Blame the other guy. Don't admit to anything in case you get sued or arrested or whatever. It's fast becoming a polecats' paridise. Instead of allowing the dodgy characters to continue, the Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards John Lyon should have been allowed to recommend that certain MPs just left the House. So what if we had a load of by-elections. Far better that then letting the matter drift on.

Tony Blair for EU President? Stuff of nightmares!

Give me strength. Gordon Brown is said to be actively lobbying for Tony Blair to be the new-fangled president of the EU monolith. Why on earth would the good people of Europe deserve this?

Can you imagine it? Tony Blair knocking on the EU door. "Anything I can do for you Europeans?". He's been knocking on doors and cheesily moving into position since his weaning days. I very much hope there will be those who see this as not in our best interests, I really do.

He is a dissembler par excellence, his Iraq war history an example of low politics. His ambition outsmarts his convictions. His convictions appear to be at odds with his conscience. His general message is one of opaqueness rather than transparency. There must be other candidates, surely?

BNP do better in the Bahamas!

The BNP is trumpeting the fact that they are the most visited political website in the UK. As my mother would say, bully for them! I visited Alexa, the web tracking service, to find that the BNP is warmly received in the Bahamas. 230th most popular site. In India it ranks at 89, 566 but that is curiously interesting given the number of sites emanating from that country.

So the BBC has helped to unleash something. Are we capable of debating the points that arise or are we not? Given Jack Straw's lamentable performance last week, I think a new drawing board is required!

'Hate crime' grandmother considers suing

Free speech in Britain is becoming one-side. Or should I say lopsided? A 67-year old grandmother, Pauline Howe, has been investigated by Norfolk police for 'hate crime' after she wrote a letter to her council objecting to a gay pride march. Now she is considering suing the authorities.

It's a funny old world. It is perfectly acceptable for some people to say all manner of things about the Pope, to castigate the Bishop of Rochester as an evil this and that, but it is not acceptable to say that one is, at least, uncomfortable about overt displays in public of a homosexual nature.

Bridget Buttinger is Norwich City Council's deputy chief executive. She wrote back warning that the grandmother could face criminal charges. She wrote, "The content of your letter has been assessed as potentially being hate related because of the views you expressed towards people of a certain sexual orientation." So basically Ms Buttinger is saying that anyone minded to express a traditional Christian opinion is deemed a hateful person. Ms Buttinger probably hoped Mrs. Howe would be jailed!

I know that certain homosexuals would rather spit blood than let Mrs. Howe express her views, but views they are. Many people share them. Norfolk Constabulary has defended its action as "proportionate". I wonder what a disproportiate action would be in the chief constable's mind?